perriwinkle:

*knits myself a thong*

(via fake-mermaid)

seedy:

i just witnessed a boy calling a vagina a penis flytrap please set me on fire

(via trust)

puralize:

you don’t understand how hard it is to take a selfie when you’re ugly

(via asvprock)

stability:

I wish my wallet came with free refills

(Source: stability, via the-absolute-funniest-posts)

"

He’d never cared much for strawberries, but that summer her lips were so stained with the juices that they were all he tasted.

And he’d never had a favourite fruit, but two years later, a new girl is sat in front of him, laughing at his jokes.

"If you could only eat one thing for the rest of your life, what would it be?" She asks playfully.

And he remembers how her hands traced the veins in his neck and made their way across his chest. He remembers her soft breathing and limbs draped across his shoulders.

"Strawberries." He tells her. "I could live a life on nothing but strawberries."

"

Excerpt from a book I’ll never write #54 -"Strawberries" (via blossomfully)

(via penissauce)

oomshi:

vegay:

dONT BE A TEACHER IF U DON’T LIKE FUCKING KIDS????

this can be taken two ways

(Source: plnts, via postulation)

lolitaspice:

dick longer than a middle schoolers instagram bio

(via fake-mermaid)

friclge:

I don’t wanna go to work. I don’t wanna grow up. I’m not going, I’m going to stay home and watch Mulan

(via barackthatassup)